


Friends

by Doublegyeoms



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Complete, Emotional Hurt, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-30 17:42:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17228447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doublegyeoms/pseuds/Doublegyeoms
Summary: That's all they'll ever be.





	Friends

**Author's Note:**

> HI THERE! 🤗 This is a one shot plot that i came up with after watching that interview of GOT7 in japan where jinyoung said he liked jb and jb was flustered af so ksjskjsksjsksjksjsjsjjsjsjsjsjsjjsjsjs 
> 
> English isn't my first language so there may be some grammatical errors and redundancy in this story (I'm sorry for that 🤧😭)
> 
> Anyway Enjoy reading this joke of a fic uwu 💘❤💓💕💖💗💙💚💛🧡💜💝💞💟❣

**_“Do you like jinyoung?”_ **

Jaebeom swore he felt his world stopped for a second, letting the interviewer’s words sink in for a moment as he thought of a right way to answer such question.

Does he like jinyoung? Of course, he likes him _a lot_.

But that wasn’t what this was about, he knew that. The question was something harmless and yet he felt how his heart started beating faster, flustered by a simple query. Jinyoung would _never_ like him like that anyway, so why was he overreacting?

“Yes I _like_ him.. but.. as a friend. Brothers! yeah, brothers.” He laughed, not noticing the light shaking of jinyoung’s head as he spoke in a shaky tone. Jinyoung would admit, he didn’t really expect the man to say it in front of millions of viewers─ but for him to say it as if liking jinyoung was something weird disappointed the younger more than he had thought he'll be.

“Of course it’s _not_ romantic love, hyung.” Jinyoung chuckled sarcastically, wanting nothing more than to go back to his hotel room and drink his pain away. He knew jaebeom didn’t like him that way, but after the subtle moments they shared the past few weeks─ he wished jaebeom did. It hurt him to hear jaebeom try to defend himself by saying what they have is friendship and how he was bothered by the heart like they don’t stare at each other longer than **‘friends’** would. Like they don’t brush each other’s hands **‘accidentally’** , like they don’t need words to even know that they **'wanted'** to say.

Then again, _‘friends’_ is better than _‘nothing’._

“We should change the heart to blue.” Jaebeom heard the younger suggested, glancing at him for a split second before smiling faintly as the camera panned at him─ something inside him breaking as he observed jinyoung, his _**heart.**_ He didn’t want to say it, he didn’t want to be just _‘friends’._ he wanted more than that, but there’s a limit to everything─ and so does their relationship.

**Friendship** is all they could get, friendship is all jaebeom can have with jinyoung.

The rest of the interview was awkward for the whole team, though they tried to hide that by being active and happy. The members could clearly feel the thick tension around the two man, feeling as if they were walking in thin ice so they opted to stay away from the argument and instead focused on livening up the show.

How many times have jinyoung heard the word friendship comes out of jaebeom’s mouth that time? He can’t recall, too many times that he felt numb─ a bullet straight to the heart for every time the man repeats it. He watched as his members thanked the staff, he himself smiled every time he came across with one of the crew, muttering a soft thank you to them as he made his way out of the studio to breath.

“Jinyoung ah.” The said man turned to his side to see mark approaching him with a knowing look. Jinyoung only offered him a small smile before sighing, emotionally drained with pretending to be fine.

“It’ll be okay.” Mark spoke in a hush tone, patting the younger’s back gently whilst jinyoung held his tears back─ not wanting to cry in a public place.

“I don’t know, hyung. I don’t really know why it hurts so bad.”

“Don’t worry, jinyoung. It’s all going to be alright.” Jinyoung caught the vague words from the eldest though he was thankful that mark was there for him. Mark knew, jinyoung told him one time when they went out to drink─ jinyoung being a lightheaded that is, told him about his feelings for the leader. Since then mark have always jinyoung’s go-to person whenever he has something to share about jaebeom. Jinyoung also knew about mark and jackson’s relationship after a while, mark telling him to keep it a secret from the rest of the team for their own sake as jinyoung agreed wordlessly. He envies how the couple would sneak out sometimes, the eldest sending him pictures of their dates─ wishing it’ll be him and jaebeom _someday._

_Though that someday might never come._

_**That someday will never come, not for jinyoung and jaebeom.** _

“I want to go rest now hyung. I don’t think I can stay here and see him for a while.”

“I see, let me call our manager so we can go head on first to our hotel then.”  Jinyoung watched as mark made his way inside the studio once more, disappearing in a sea of people pacing back and forth. He was about to turn his back when a familiar voice called him out─ the voice he doesn’t want to hear for now at least.

Jinyoung glanced away, trying to come up with an excuse to go and cut their conversation short─ something he never knew he’ll do when talking to jaebeom, they always seem to talk about everything when they’re together.

“I need to ask you something.” Jaebeom started, hesitation clear in his timbre whilst jinyoung clenched his fist.

He knew what that hesitation meant, he knew jaebeom too well to shrug it off─ though he really wish he couldn't read him, like how jaebeom could as well.

“Go on, I’m listening.”

“What was that about?”

“What do you mean?”

Jaebeom sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as the younger stood silently─ deciding to limit his words as to not lengthen their conversation.

“You know what I mean, jinyoungie.”

_Jinyoungie._ How jinyoung loves to hear him say that. It felt like the name was something special, like an endearment he could only have. He had always cherish the times jaebeom would call him that, but now he wishes he’ll stop, so that jinyoung can stop loving him more.

“I don’t know what you mean, hyung.”

Jaebeom was about to speak when mark came running towards them, signalling jinyoung to go with his act.

“Sorry for making you wait jinyoungie ah, let’s go? Oh, jaebeom. I need to take jinyoung okay? He's a little under the weather so we'll head first to our hotel." Mark smiled at jaebeom who just nodded, giving jinyoung one last glance before looking for his other members.

“Thank you hyung.” Jinyoung whispered as they walked towards their car, mark silently holding and squeezing jinyoung’s hand as the car started moving─ a gesture of sympathy and assurance he was grateful to have.

The ride on the way to the hotel they were staying was quite long, it gave jinyoung some time to think of what went wrong with them. He wasn’t blind to the fact that some of their fans, aghases, pair them. It lightens his heart to know that some of them cheers for their relationship. However, jinyoung knew more than to get carried away with those emotion. The industry they work in, wasn’t one to be careless with. One wrong move and they’ll be in the headlines. One wrong move and it can cause them their group, their members─ their family.

He couldn’t help but to sigh, wondering of the things they’ve been through together. Were those things just fragments of jinyoung’s imagination? Were they true? Were they fake? Were they real or scripted? Jinyoung couldn’t differentiate, he wish he could─ so that he could do something with his problem right now.

“Jinyoung ah, we’re here.” Jinyoung snapped out of his thoughts as he looked beside him to see mark opening the car door, the younger following mark inside their hotel and parting ways after a hug.

The man tiredly unlocked his room, dragging his foot inside to plop down the soft bed─ curling up while hugging a pillow closely to his chest. It was a tiring day─ practicing, attending interviews, getting ready for concerts and comebacks. It was tiring, but jinyoung never felt so emotionally exhausted in his life other than now. it felt like he couldn’t move a muscle, like he couldn’t breathe and was drowning in air. Jinyoung hated the feeling─ the feeling of emptiness a single word from a certain person can give.

Reaching out for his phone, jinyoung saw the unread messages from his members and their manager. Deciding on replying to them rather than being bombarded with question later, he opened the messages one by one. A sad smile etched in his face as he read yugyeom’s message.

> ‘ _Hyung, I heard you weren’t feeling well? You did well today. Please cheer up! I love you hyung, fighting!’_

“Gyeom ah, thank you.” He whispered to no one as he typed in a reply for the youngest. After finishing them all, jinyoung debated on whether to eat or just sleep for a while─ choosing the latter as he closed his eyes, letting himself slip into the dream realm where he could be anything and with anyone.

_Somewhere where someday can happen._

After what seemed to be hours of peaceful slumber, jinyoung was woken up by the continuous knocking on his door, groggily stepping out his bed and towards the door.

“Who’s there?” He asked, voice hoarse and dry as he looked at the peephole on the door─ stunned to see jaebeom standing outside his door patiently.

“It’s jaebeom.”

Jinyoung rushed to fix himself, splashing cold water in his face to wake himself up fully whilst combing his bed hair into place before opening the door for the elder.

“What do you need hyung?”

“Well mark hyung said you weren’t feeling well earlier so I brought you some medicines.” Jaebeom lifted the plastic bag filled with medicine and other items, making his way inside jinyoung’s room casually whilst he pour some water on a glass. Jinyoung looked at him confusedly when the elder handed him the glass of water and a pill.

“Drink this, I’ll heat the soup up for you so you can rest on the bed.” The man said as if he just read the younger’s thoughts. It was baffling for jinyoung to have jaebeom act so domestic with him, it muddled his thoughts more than they already are as he gripped the glass of water in his hand.

“Stop doing this.” Jinyoung whispered, looking down on the floor to contain his emotion.

“Stop what?”

**“This!”** Jaebeom was startled when jinyoung suddenly shouted, eyes brimming with tears as he put the glass down the counter with a thud.

“I don’t need you to act so caring with me when we’re alone! I don’t need you to act as if I’m someone so important to you when we’re alone! I don’t need you to make me feel so fucking special by doing this things! I’m so fucking tired hyung, let me just take a rest.” Jinyoung sobbed, hiding his face with his hands─ his whole body trembling. It was too much for the younger. All of it; the interview, his answer, this─ it was too much, he just wanted to breath.

Everything, every moment, every subtle touches, stolen glances─ it was all coming back to him all at once and it overwhelmed him with so much sadness that he couldn't stop the tears from falling.

"I don't need you to confuse me so much. I just wanted to breath."

“I don’t know what you’re talking about jinyoungie. I care for you and you’re important to me so why would you think that I’m only doing this to show the others?”

Of course, that’s how he’ll see it, something brotherly to do. Yet to jinyoung it was something very special— to a point where he couldn’t identify what’s friendship and what’s romance.

“Just… let me be, hyung. I’m just tired right now.”

“You haven’t even eaten. You skipped dinner and you’re sick. Tell me jinyoung, is something wrong?”

Is something wrong? Of course there is. This is wrong, jinyoung was wrong.

_He was wrong to love someone who was supposed to be just a friend._

“Nothing, hyung. I’m just tired, that’s all there is to say.” Jinyoung mumbled as he opened his door.

“I need some time alone, please.” He added whilst jaebeom walked towards the door, staring at jinyoung for a moment before sighing.

“You know you can tell me if there’s a problem right? I’m always here for you and I’m not going anywhere.” With that jaebeom left as jinyoung closed the door— tears streaming down his face as soon as the door shut close.

Jaebeom felt the heaviness inside him as he strutted towards his own room, closing the door behind him and sitting on his bed before ruffling his hair furiously.

“What the fuck is wrong with me?” He grunted as he fell backwards into the bed, feeling his eyes getting filled with water whilst he stared at the ceiling.

He couldn’t shake off the look in jinyoung’s eyes a while ago. How he looked so disappoint, so hurt─ as if jaebeom caused him pain. He doesn’t understand it. If anything, what he said on the interview was something that pained himself. Jaebeom wanted more than just being friends, sadly that won’t ever happen. Not _now,_ not _ever—_ _probably not even in this lifetime or the next one._

It’s just not for them, **Love.**

He wished he could’ve said what he really feel, but then that’ll be too risky─ not only for them but also for the whole group. If only life was as easy as those of romantic novels and movies. Then maybe, just maybe, they’ll have their own happy ending.

Unfortunately, happy ending don’t exist in real life.

The rest of the night was long for both men, thoughts of their own bugging their minds─ holding them back from drifting to sleep. It was about past midnight when jinyoung finally managed to sleep after crying. Jaebeom on the other hand, spend more time producing music to pass the time before falling asleep in the middle of writing lyrics.

“Whoa hyung you look terrible.” Bambam greeted jaebeom once the leader made his way to the buffet for breakfast.

“Thanks. You too.” The man only replied in a monotonous tone, earning a raised eyebrow from bambam who just shrugged and left.

He doesn’t just look terrible, he feels terrible as well. The scene from the night and day before still bothered him.

“Jinyoung ah! Here!” Jaebeom snapped his head to where the sound came from, eyes landing on mark holding something up for jinyoung who was laughing─ he looked better than yesterday, he looked _happier._

Maybe he should just asked him? To finally get rid of the questions that’s been on his head.

“You okay hyung?” Jaebeom blinked and looked to his side to see youngjae staring at him with worried eyes.

“Huh? Yes, why?”

“You’re putting mayo in your ramen.”

Jaebeom looked down and sure enough his ramen was filled with mayo as he laughed nervously, embarrassed by the fact that he was caught doing something stupid. 

“Yeah sorry. I stayed up all night making music so I’m a little all over the place.” He laughed half-heartedly whilst youngjae just eyed him.

“Hyung, if you have something to say, say it to him in private, that way you won’t have to hold back and panic like yesterday. Jinyoung seemed very upset after the interview, I hope everything goes well sk you two can go back to being normal.” Youngjae spoke before turning and walking away, leaving a dumbfounded jaebeom.

Jinyoung… was upset because of it? but why?

Didn’t he clearly stated that it was obviously not romantic love?

Was jaebeom wrong all along?

Did he stood a chance?

He stared at the laughing jinyoung, resolving on talking with the younger later before going to their photoshoot. It took up all his courage to prepare what he needed to say, a lot of strength to walk up to jinyoung, a lot of carefully picked words to ask jinyoung for a moment to speak.

It took a lot for jaebeom to stand in front of jinyoung that moment and that moment was now.

“You wanted to talk, hyung?” Jinyoung smiled at him─ no remnants of yesterday’s incident visible in his face and tone. It was like jinyoung from last night was from jaebeom’s nightmare alone.

“Yes. First, I wanted to ask you.” Jaebeom spoke, voice full of determination despite the bubbling fear in the pit of his stomach.

It’s now or never─ jaebeom repeated in his head as he took in a deep breath before continuing with his sentence.

“What was that about?”

“Oh, you mean the incident last night? Sorry I was kind of exhausted from all the schedules so I vented out on you, hyung.” Jinyoung laughed lightly but jaebeom knew more than to be fooled with his façade.

“Jinyoungie, we both know that’s not the case. And I’m asking you about the.. _'like'_ incident on the interview yesterday.” Jaebeom waited for jinyoung to reply— the younger’s smile fading from the view only to be replaced with a serious expression.

“What about it?”

“Why would you write it down? Of all the things you could write down, why that?”

The elder wanted to hear him say those words, so he waited.

“Oh, that. Well it’s true. I like you hyung.”

“Why?”

Jinyoung stared at him for a moment— the longer he stayed there, the harder to breath.

“Why?” The younger repeated, looking at the expression jaebeom was giving him─ was it hope? Desperation? Pleading? He couldn’t tell.

“Yes, why me?”

Because..

“Because you’re my hyung. And you understand me. We have lived together the longest so I guess it’s just right to say I like you. And we got an interesting clip from your reaction, I’m sure the fans would laugh at that.” Jinyoung smiled─ his own words leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

Jaebeom looked at him in disbelief. Is that all? Is that everything he needed to say?

“Is that all there is to that, jinyoungie?”

Please say something.. please say no.

Please say that you genuinely like me—not as a friend but as something more.

Please..

Jinyoung chuckled softly, tapping the older’s shoulder in a gentle manner.

“That's all hyung, just like you said, it’s a friendship love.”

**_Oh…_ **

Jinyoung told him with a smile, though he noticed how his smile did not reach his eyes. Jaebeom stood there, unmoving and speechless. He could hear the breaking of his heart, tearing it to pieces until nothing was left of his shattered heart.

“So, is that everything you need to know? Cause it’s almost time for us to go.” The younger looked at his watch─ avoiding the gaze of the elder. He can’t take back what he said, or he’ll fall and give in to the elder.

“..Yeah.” Jaebeom uttered. There’s no use with telling what he feels anyway. _It’s over just right before it even started._

“Then we should get going. We don’t want to be late, do we?” Jinyoung looked up for a quick smile before patting jaebeom’s arm.

“ _Don't worry about it hyung. It’s just fan service hyung, nothing more.”_

To jinyoung, it was better to keep jaebeom around─ even if it means that he’ll have to keep his emotions to himself. Just to have him stay beside him, it was better. This was better. Carry the pain to retain the happiness.

To jaebeom, it was better to have jinyoung as a friend─ even if that means he needs to see him fall in love with other people while he remains in love with him. That was better. To love him in the shadow while he lights up someone else’s world.

To them both, friendship love is better than nothing— even if it meand they have to part ways one day and start a family of their own. Not as jaebeom and jinyoung's, but as jaebeom's and jinyoung's.

Friendship love, that’s all there is for them.

That’s all they’ll ever have.

All they’ll ever be to each other.

 

_**Friends.** _

 


End file.
